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BLOGISMS FROM
MARK |
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| June 30, 2009 |
| On June 20th I had the pleasure to
do a show at Giggles for the graduating class of Kennett
High School from North Conway, NH. This was the most
fun I have had doing a show in a long, long time. They
were as entertaining as I was. They had things I had
never heard of like Key Club and a Hospitality Team
(which won the national championship, no really they
have a competition for that kind of thing). I think
Pierre, the French exchange student was the best. He
made the show for me. If you saw me at this show, thank
you for being such a great audience. I hope to see you
again at another show. |
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| June 15, 2009 |
| Been away for a while, I know. I
have a lot of schnike going on. Anyhow, what is up with
this weather? I would like to punch Al Gore right in
the face. Global warming my a**. This is June people.
It feels like October, or November some days. Crazy.
I want SUMMER. I want 90 degrees. I want it hotter than
Africa. I want to have the BCS to be through the roof.
If you are wondering what BCS is, it is But Crack Sweat.
I want to be able to house a goldfish in my shorts.
You get the point. I am sick of what the weather people
are calling "spring". Spring this. Lets bring
on summer. |
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| May 23, 2009 |
| Where did the last month go? Time
really does speed up when you get older. How come when
you're doing something you like the time speeds by.
When you are doing something that sucks, time creeps
along and you feel like anything else would be better
than where you are. Even a root canal would be more
fun. Anyhow, I did a benefit show last night for Braintree
South Girls Softball. There is nothing more exciting
than a t-ball game to watch. Even better is when the
girls start pitching. Can you say "walk-fest".
The crowd last night was great and myself and Dave Russo
and Patty Ross had a lot of fun. |
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| May 15, 2009 |
| I feel like this is a trend, I have
been away for a while. The latest news is that Miss
America was found out to be naughty. Pictures surfaced
of her naked. I find it odd that in this country, a
country that prides itself on over-indulgence, gluttony,
and extreme everything, would have a problem with a
beauty pageant winner being naked. This country has
morals when it is convenient. I love it. You go Donald
Trump, who is a man of integrity. Let her be nude and
keep the crown. And the Miss Universe pageant cracks
me up too. Who are we to be so arogant. For all we know
there could be an alien out there with extra female
body parts. |
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| April 21, 2009 |
| Yes, I finally have VIDEO. It took
me a long time but now it is here. Check me out on Youtube
at www.youtube.com/markfriley.
Let me know what you think. |
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| April 18, 2009 |
| I know I have been away for a while.
Thanks for checking back. Also, let me know what you
think of my "blogging" (if I had a nickle
for every time I said that). Okay, 2009 and we still
have pirates. Are you kidding me. And they don't look
like Johnny Depp. I can't believe this has been going
on this long and the iTeam hasn't done a story on it.
Send Joe Bergintino or Hank Philipe Ryan over there
to get to the bottom of this. I think the comedy in
this is the fact that there had to be some of these
nitwits that thought they were going on a deep sea fishing
tour and then all of a sudden they are taking over a
tanker. And when they are caught you know they are going
to say "I was just here to catch some flounder."
I would say to them, if you are on a pirate ship, you
are a pirate. Ahhhr me harties. |
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| April 2, 2009 |
| Is everyone getting money from the
government but you and me? Bail this out (insert visual
image here). The banks and car dealers have been stealing
money from us for years. Now somehow, they have figured
out a way to steal our tax money too. Everytime I over-draft
I bailout the bank with my $39 fee. If another $3.15
trip to Dunkin Donuts costs me $42.15, I am going to
snap. And car dealers? Are you kidding me? These theives
have been screwing us for years. Now if you are a car
dealer or a bank person, don't take this the wrong way.
I am just blogging. I don't want you to get beat up
or anything. Sucker punched maybe, but not a full fledged
beating. I just want the government to put together
a real stimulus package. Throw everyone who makes less
than $100,000 a bone. Let the women have a $500 shopping
spree and let the guys get a massage with full release.
Now that will stimulate everyone. |
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| April Fools Day. One would think
this is a comedian's favorite day. Not this one. All
the gags are fun of course, but they have all been done
before. I shouldn't say all, but most. Fake dog poop,
hand buzzer (a classic), dollar bill on a string. Don't
get me wrong, I like them all, but maybe I am just to
jaded. You know. I did pull a prank this year. I left
a bloody severed arm in the hallway of the school that
I was subbing at. Principal did not find this funny.
Same guy who didn't like my DNA answer. Oh well, one
more school I can't work at. |
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| Alright, the world has officially
gone crazy. The Foxy Lady had a job fair. Insert your
own stipper jokes here. A job fair. Talk about a great
excuse for a guy to go a strip club. "Honey, I
am going to a job fair, I'll be home later." I
would have loved to have seen some of the applicants
for "stripper". I am sure a lot of them should
have stayed home. I guess the guy had 26 openings to
fill (once again, insert your own stripper joke here).
I wanted to send my wife down. Nothing hotter than a
married stripper. And how cool would it be to say that
you were married to a stripper. This of course, when
brought up, did not go over to well with the mrs. Oh
well, a guy can try can't he. Here is to the economy
getting a bust, I mean, boost. |
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| March 19, 2009 |
| Alright, here's a good one. I blogged
on Sunday night and then forgot to put it out on the
web. If you did come to check it out, sorry. I am kind
of not good at this stuff. Last weekend was a trip.
Working with Lenny Clarke is always awesome. All three
shows I did with him were sold out. I do have two big
shows coming up. One is March 27th at the DAV Hall in
Braintree for Braintree Youth Hockey. I am taping the
show for a live CD. I am also taping a show down in
Connecticut on April 3rd in Wallingford. The CD should
be out in about a month or so after that. Stay tuned. |
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| March 9, 2009 |
| Does everyone have this stomach bug?
Jesus help us. If someone is not puking they are on
the toilet. I feel like I am on a cruise ship that has
the Norwalk virus. There is no where to hide. If (when)
I do get it I think I will eat some raw chicken and
let the viruses fight it out. Maybe they will nuetralize
each other and I will be fine. I will let you know how
I make out. |
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| March 8, 2009 |
| What a show last night. I had a blast
with the good people of Norfolk Agie. The crowd was
great, except for the guy in the white turtle neck.
The raffle provided a huge amount of material. When
a big burly guy who tries to act tough wins an afghan,
that is comedy gold. I have never typed the word afghan.
I have no idea if I spelled it right. I bet I will never
type it again. Unless I end up having some weird knitting
fantacy. You never can tell. Stranger stuff has happened. |
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| March 2, 2009 |
| School Cancelation: When I was a
kid, school cancelation days were awesome. Now, with
kids, they kind of suck. Trapped in the house with the
kids with only two choices. Sit inside and stare at
each other OR go outside in the crappy weather and "play"
in the snow. Please. Shoot me. I suppose it is not so
bad, it kind of beats working. Of course that does not
apply to comedy. |
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| February 20, 2009 |
| School vacation week this week. Shoot
me now. I want to go back to school. I have become the
Master of the Playdate. The key is to send your kids
with other families. Sometimes you lose two but gain
one. Playdates at your own house can suck. Unless of
course you can sneak out without them seeing you. JK.
Oh yeah, and vacation homework, just great. |
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| February 8 , 2009 |
| Don't look now, but I am blogging
within one week of the last blog. I must be losing it.
I had a great show in Hollis, New Hamshire last night
with the people from Pepperell-Ashby-Townsend hockey.
I still can't figure out the name. I am still stuck
on the woman that had 8 kids. She already had 6. If
my math is correct, that's 14 kids under the age of
7. I am not even one of the fathers and I want to run
away. I heard after they were born they were all put
in a big cardboard box. They only expected 7, so when
the eighth came out they thought it was a chihuahua.
Let's just say the eighth was on the ugly side. How
sad is it that I had to look up how to spell chihuahua.
And she is going to breast feed them. Yah right. Women
are actually donating breast milk to her. That's wacked.
This breast feeding thing is out of control. Pretty
soon they are going to have it at Dunkin Donuts. "Large
hazlenut with breast milk no sugar". Delicious.
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| February 2 , 2009 |
| Finally I blog again. First off,
I want to let everyone know that I have been having
a blast at my shows recently and it is because of you
(if you have attended a show in the past few weeks,
if not, why?) From Plymouth to Providence the crowds
have been great. I don't think I have had a show as
good as the 10 pm show at the Comedy Connection in Providence
on Saturday night. That's it for now. Check back in
March and I might have something new. Just kidding.
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| January 15, 2009 |
| Happy New Year! Again I haven't blogged
in a while. I guess I am to busy to blog. No time to
blog. One of my New Year's resolutions is to blog more.
More blogging in 2009. Check back and I promise I will
write some new stuff. |
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| November 18, 2008 |
| Sorry I have not had any postings
lately. Life has been pretty crazy. I first want to
say that I had a lot of fun at the Flagship Cinemas
in both Derry, NH and in New Bedford, MA. The people
up in New Hampshire are a little strange, but very fun.
I have two big shows coming up. The first is this Friday,
November 21st. I will be hosting my annual benefit show
for Meeting House Montessori School of Braintree. I
have Robbie Printz, Bob Gautreau and Graig Murphy performing.
The following week on November 29th I am hosting a benefit
show the Jeff Hayes Memorial Fund down in Cotuit. Jeff
played hockey for me at Sandwich High School a few years
ago. Jeff tragically lost his battle with cancer and
the comedy show is to both raise money and remember
Jeff. If you are free, come check out one of the shows.
They both will be great. Thanks for stoping by and remember,
if you need a comedian for your Christmas Party (or
Hanukkah or Kwanzaa party) get in touch with me. I will
make your party a lot of fun. |
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| November 3, 2008 |
| First off, why do I keep typing 2008?
The election is finally here this week. This is a good
thing because I don't know if you are like me, but I
am sick of all this crap. Just elect someone already.
I came up with a good idea. Hold the election, see who
wins and then let Ralph Nadar take over and run the
country for 1 year. Lets see if this guy can do anything
with our economy. He can't srew it up any worse, can
he? After a year, if he sucked, then let whoever wins
this week take over. |
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| November 3, 2008 |
| First off, why do I keep typing 2008?
The election is finally here this week. This is a good
thing because I don't know if you are like me, but I
am sick of all this crap. Just elect someone already.
I came up with a good idea. Hold the election, see who
wins and then let Ralph Nadar take over and run the
country for 1 year. Lets see if this guy can do anything
with our economy. He can't srew it up any worse, can
he? After a year, if he sucked, then let whoever wins
this week take over. |
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| November 2, 2008 |
| Last night we gained an hour of sleep
with Daylight Savings. Its nights like that I was wish
I was still drinking. Anyway, I did an All Pro Show
for the Duxbury Police at Pembroke Country Club. The
last time I was at Pembroke Country Club, I was at my
wedding reception. No lie. Kind of crazy. The people
at the show were the best. I sold a record 15 cds. Thanks
to all those nice people, I can pay 5% of my rent. |
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| October 31, 2008 |
| I had to share a quick story from
trick-or-treating with my kids tonight. My son went
as a chicken. His friend went as a Mexican (I hope this
does not offend - not that I really can give a crap).
Watching the Mexican and the Chicken run around was
hysterical. |
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| October 26, 2008 |
| My show last night at Nicks Comedy
Stop in Boston was an international affair. We had people
from the Dominican Republic, Canada, England, Hudson
Mass, New Hampshire, Revere, Georgia, Buffalo, shit
even New Jersey. The best of all was a guy from Santa
Maria. I know what you are thinking, that is a ship
not a country or even a place. However, it is an island
off the coast of Portugal. Who'd thunk it. Good thing
I payed attention in Geography class. |
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| October 25, 2008 |
| Weekend went well. I found out Lemoinster
(I think that is how you spell it) is the proud home
of Johnny Appleseed. Southie is the proud home of Whitey
Bulger. Kind of a contrast wouldn't you say. |
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| October 20, 2008 |
| Well, I survived the weekend, and
I mean I survived the weekend. I went over to Nantucket,
a place I had never been to before, to do an All Pro
Show for the Nantucket fire fighters with Frank Santorelli,
Danny Miller and Greg Howell. We had a blast. The show
was awesome. The people were awesome. A little on the
"island" weird side, but awesome. The Ferry
ride back on Sunday, not so awesome. There was 45 mph
winds and we left at 7:45 am, the only ferry to cross
the "river" that day. We took the fast ferry.
It was coming out of the water as we went through the
waves. Poor Greg Howell was white by the time we made
it across. |
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| October 12, 2008 |
Wow. My first real blog. Well, its
my first real blog using a keyboard. I have blogged
many times on the internet, but never with a keyboard.
I hope I am doing this right. My biggest news lately
is the release of my CD. I had a huge CD release party
on September 13th in my driveway. Three people showed
up. Two relatives and an old guy who thought it was
a yard sale. Boy was he pissed. Sales are going well.
If you come to a show, make sure to pick one up after
the show. They are only $10 and all the money goes
to a really good cause. My car insurance. 1`That's
it. My first blog. Be sure to come see a show soon.
Remember laughter increases blood flow in the heart
by 33% and I do NOT collect a co-pay. Thanks for reading
and I will be writing more soon, so check back. |
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